HONORING APHRODITE Many people complain these days that romance hasn’t come their way. Often however, we see that if romance were to be likened to a visitor, it hasn’t arrived yet because we ourselves are like a town where there’s no place for it to stay. We keep saying we want love, but don’t truly prepare for its arrival. Why would it come to a place where there’s no real welcome past the initial “So glad you’re here!”?

Many contemporary women now embody the Greek Goddess Athena, while craving a visit from Aphrodite. Yet the gods only come to where they are fully embodied. Embodying Athena, we attract worldly achievement; embodying Aphrodite, we attract love. What’s exciting about being a Western woman today is that we’re allowed to embody as many and whatever goddesses we choose. For those who seek a deeper romance, it serves to embody the goddess Aphrodite, for she is the goddess of romantic love. In order to become her, however, we must approach her with reverence and love.

“Aphrodite’s temple” is a real psychic vortex, as is any divine space, with steps to be climbed in order to enter. There are both external and internal steps to climb before entering Aphrodite’s temple, and all of them can be learned.

EXTERNAL STEPS To the Temple of Aphrodite

l) Get all exercise equipment and office work out of your bedroom. Aphrodite is a temple, not a workspace.

2) Make your living environment, clothes (even undergarments), and personal behavior a magnet for romantic vibrations. Your own manifestation must match her frequency in order to attract her.

3) Study books, take seminars, attend support groups, go to therapy — anything to avail yourself of all opportunities to learn greater mastery in romantic relationships. Some barriers to Aphrodite are simply mental, emotional and behavioral patterns that we learned, and can now unlearn. All negative energy, when surrendered to God for healing, can be transmuted and transcended through grace.

INTERNAL STEPS To the Temple of Aphrodite

1) Take an honest look at how you view relationships. Do you value them less than other areas of life, judging them as somehow trivial? Do you truly give yourself emotional permission to fall in love and stay there? Do you hold covert, or even overt, judgments against men or women as romantic partners? Such judgments must be recognized and consciously surrendered for healing, or they remain subconscious forces that sabotage our chances for love.

In my own generation, there was a strain of what I call “flawed feminism” which, while it created a huge space of opportunity for women, also subtly and not-so-subtly made a woman feel like a romantic desire was less important than say, our desire for worldly accomplishment. This put us at odds with our own emotional and in some cases even biological propensities, causing unnecessary havoc and sorrow. Aphrodite in fact competes with no one and nothing. She is not trying to take anyone else’s temple space. She is not a threat to worldly achievement; if anything, she is a boon to it because a deeply happy woman is a more energetic woman. Healthy sex and romance realign our nervous systems. They do not weaken us; rather they strengthen us. But we must be willing to admit to ourselves that it’s something we truly, deeply desire. Aphrodite doesn’t come to a place where she doesn’t feel desired, for in essence she is desire.

2) Take an internal scan of your psychological, spiritual, emotional and physical landscape. Are you emotionally available? Are you physically prepared? Are you ready to be gentle with a man, or at times of fear might you be demeaning, or impatient, or angry? Are you yet kind and giving enough for love? Are you juicy, and erotic, and honoring of real sexual desire? Are you ready to welcome a partner, to serve his or her growth that you might participate together in a great romantic journey? Combining the sacred and the erotic is a high adventure; Aphrodite is both goddess and lover. We must approach the gods, and love, with reverence if we’re to receive their blessings.

3) Surrender to God all barriers you hold against love’s coming. It’s not that we need to seek for love, for love is all around us. What we must consciously seek out, however, are all the ways we chronically keep it at bay. From sarcasm to anger, from a controlling nature to a covert contempt for men, we often put out energy that on the level of subtle vibrations keeps Aphrodite at a distance. Many times, having not had love, we create defenses and personality mechanisms that might have served us at one time, but now need to whither away if Aphrodite is to approach. A woman might say, for instance, “You damn right I’m tough! I’ve had to be! I didn’t have a man taking care of me!” Yes, but now, if you are to attract a man, you might want to consider being not so tough. While it might be commendable and to your credit that you’ve created so much on your own, the mental and emotional habit patterns of someone who’s flying solo are quite different from those of someone who is partnered. It’s important to be independent, in order to hold on to your identity in a relationship. Unless we’re independent first, we can’t partner in interdependence. But once we are independent, we must be willing to give up our aloneness in order to attract Aphrodite. The goddess of love is not just interested in self-love; she is interested in the deepest, most romantic joining with another.

Even those who feel that they have failed at love can receive the blessing of Aphrodite’s touch. For she does not just reward those who are willing and ready to love; she also heals those who come to her weakened in the wars of love, now ready to make peace with the parts of themselves that have tried and failed at love, shown up and been rejected, had the chance and blown the opportunity. When we are ready to forgive our selves and others, ready to humbly ask for guidance in love, ready to rise above the resistance to love, then we are ready for Aphrodite’s blessing. Once we are ready for her, she is ready for us; and once joining with her, we embody her. Then love arrives on angel’s wings, for gods can do what only gods can do. And love surrenders to their slightest command.

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